Wednesday, September 24
I'm so sick of how...
my friends and I, we joke about rape, violence, and sex all the time...when did it come to the point in society where that was acceptable for teens to joke about? or have they always? really, if you were to take it serious, it's just not funny, but isn't that what you get, when you take something seriously, the knowledge that it is, in fact, not funny?
I'm tired of everyone around me doing things just to get a laugh...or to look "cool"...but maybe I'm just paranoid, and they're actually acting normal, and natural?! It all feels so fake! I go to school, walk amoung the halls, I laugh, but am I really laughing?!
it's like sometimes I'm this shell, the real me inside is watching everyone else, I'm sort of just on auto pilot, I feel so alone and trapped inside myself...
I feel like I don't fit it! that I either take things to seriously, or don't take them serious at all, and I'm just as guilty of joking about sex, drugs, violence, and cussing. I'm trying to stop, really I am! well, the cussing anyways. but it's so hard, it's just part of our language, it's like trying to say soda when everyone else is saying pop. how does Kassie do it? I told myself when I was in 3rd grade that I would never swear, and my best friend did once, and we thought she was all bad.
and the joking about rape and molesting! oh alyssa, you muffin molester! oh alyssa, we'll give you little children to take to your lair and rape! well sometimes it's just wrong! I think, how would I feel if I heard some kids joking about that, and I actually was raped or molested, or even a victum of incest! could you imagine? it wouyld drudge up all those memories...we should be careful what we say...the world is a mean enough place already...
maybe, again, I'm just being paranoid...
...I just don't feel like I fit in, and I mean really, fit in, with my friends...do they love me?
alright then...done with my rant...thanks for reading....
I love you Brent, can't wait till friday <3
my friends and I, we joke about rape, violence, and sex all the time...when did it come to the point in society where that was acceptable for teens to joke about? or have they always? really, if you were to take it serious, it's just not funny, but isn't that what you get, when you take something seriously, the knowledge that it is, in fact, not funny?
I'm tired of everyone around me doing things just to get a laugh...or to look "cool"...but maybe I'm just paranoid, and they're actually acting normal, and natural?! It all feels so fake! I go to school, walk amoung the halls, I laugh, but am I really laughing?!
it's like sometimes I'm this shell, the real me inside is watching everyone else, I'm sort of just on auto pilot, I feel so alone and trapped inside myself...
I feel like I don't fit it! that I either take things to seriously, or don't take them serious at all, and I'm just as guilty of joking about sex, drugs, violence, and cussing. I'm trying to stop, really I am! well, the cussing anyways. but it's so hard, it's just part of our language, it's like trying to say soda when everyone else is saying pop. how does Kassie do it? I told myself when I was in 3rd grade that I would never swear, and my best friend did once, and we thought she was all bad.
and the joking about rape and molesting! oh alyssa, you muffin molester! oh alyssa, we'll give you little children to take to your lair and rape! well sometimes it's just wrong! I think, how would I feel if I heard some kids joking about that, and I actually was raped or molested, or even a victum of incest! could you imagine? it wouyld drudge up all those memories...we should be careful what we say...the world is a mean enough place already...
maybe, again, I'm just being paranoid...
...I just don't feel like I fit in, and I mean really, fit in, with my friends...do they love me?
alright then...done with my rant...thanks for reading....
I love you Brent, can't wait till friday <3
# posted by Alyssa : 4:38 PM
